Arnold Palmer had a big c#@k

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Oct 20, 2024

Yesterday, 17 days before the US presidential election, MAGA leader Donald Trump went to Latrobe, Pennsylvania, and talked about Arnold Palmer’s c#@k. According to Donald, it was enormous:

Arnold Palmer was all man. And I say that in all due respect to women and I love women. But this guy, this guy, this is a guy that was all man. This man was strong and tough. And I refused to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, ‘Oh my God, that’s unbelievable.
I had to say it.

MAGA crowds don’t think for themselves. Each clapping lemming surrendered their agency, intellect and integrity to the tangerine hustler turned fascist leader long ago. Yet even within the cowed assembly it wouldn’t have been impossible to imagine that old Confucian wisdom seeping through on a vapor of lingering memory.

Beware the man with small hands and smaller c#@ks who stares in the club shower. He will take away your freedom.

Actually, I made that up. Could you tell?

Donald Trump talks about his oratory, and the magic that makes it happen. He calls it “the weave:”

You know, I do the weave. You know what the weave is? I’ll talk about like nine different things, and they all come back brilliantly together, and it’s like, friends of mine that are, like, English professors, they say, ‘It’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen.’”

Sometimes, I look at my dogs and I wonder what they are thinking about. Like, I really wonder. Deeply.

In the same way, I wonder about that, I want to know if anyone else wonders how it is that Arnold Palmer’s giant c#@k entered “the weave?”

Did his trusted aide Jason Miller, who dropped an abortion pill into his former lover’s smoothie, mention it to him before he went onstage? Was it Lewandowski? What might they have said to the addicted rapist?

“Sir, do you ever think how many women you could have raped with a c$&k like Arnold Palmer’s?”

The crowd would have loved it.

Or was it Melania? Did she purr in contempt at him that he would never be a real man like Arnold Palmer? Maybe as Melania laughed at him she was being served a delicious Arnold Palmer by the Mar-a-Lago club pro. Who knows? Whatever is going on — and I’m not saying something is — but if there was then it’s important to remember Melania doesn’t like roses. At all. She’s more of a material girl, but I digress too much.

In the end, who can know? It’s impossible.

Trump looked out at the crowd, and saw them clearly. He guessed correctly. They didn’t want to hear about the economy, America’s future, or theirs. No one wanted to talk about the war raging in Europe, or the Iranian conflict in the Middle East. They came for Arnold Palmer’s c#@k, and like Trump’s friend Harvey Weinstein, they got “schlonged:”

I was so amazed that Harvey Weinstein got schlonged. He got hit as hard as you can get hit. Because he was sort of the king of the woke, right? And yet he got it. And I figured that maybe he wouldn’t get hit so hard.

Apparently, Trump is thinking deeply about his legacy these days — lamenting its smallness.

I suppose that, in the end, it is hard to know what Trump is thinking or why, but it doesn’t really matter, does it? What matters is what the people in the crowd are thinking, and more importantly, the people at home.

I do have a question for them, and here it is: what the hell is wrong with all of you?Shame on you.

Oh, by the way, did you hear the news? Arnold Palmer had a big c#@k. And, by the way, please tell me more about how Vice President Harris hasn’t laid out enough policy proposals again.