Kristi Noem is much worse than I thought

Teddy (right) and Tucker (left)

My beautiful Bernese Mountain Dog Teddy will be turning seven this summer, so my heart sank the other day when I felt a hard mass under his left front armpit. He’s a big, strong, active dog, who has been limping lately, so we were very worried before we found it. Now we’re waiting for the vet to give us a ring with what could be terrible news.

While we wait, I’m thinking about Teddy and a dog’s life, which is so much shorter than ours. They play such a vital role in the pursuit of human happiness, but can only accompany us for part of our life’s journey. During that journey they can teach us much, including how to lighten up, smile after a tough day, and live in the moment. I saw a boy playing on the street the other day. He was smashing pucks into a net with his Golden Retriever playing goalie. It was a perfect moment in time, and I enjoyed watching the two lost in play and happiness. 

Dogs are beautiful and special animals  More than anything, they are bundles of love, waiting to be tapped. When they are, the devotion, affection, joy and companionship that they bring is something that is more ethereal than earthly. They are our friends through good days and bad. How we treat them is a mark of character that is indelible. 

Before continuing, let me state five things that are true:

1.  Cruelty is real.

2.  There are no bad dogs, only bad dog owners 

3.  All dogs need to be trained. 

4.  Kristi Noem is the governor of South Dakota. 

5.  Kristi Noem is being vetted to join the MAGA ticket as VP. 

Allegedly, the South Dakota governor moonlights as the mistress of MAGA heartthrob, serial groper, sexual assaulter and rage-aholic Corey Lewandowski. This would normally be a disqualification for consideration, but there seems to be a certain laxity of standards around Trump. 

There is little mystery around Trump, but one that remains is whether he likes the trashy “Yellowstone” extra at the rodeo look. Does Trump look at Kristi Noem and think, “She’s orange like me. I like that?” Or, does the look trigger dirty thoughts of a cavorting Lewandowski swinging from a trapeze? Who knows. 

I just know what I’ll think about the next time I hear the name Kristi Noem. 

I think you should think about it too. Let me tell you the story. According to The Guardian, quoting from Noem’s book:

Cricket was a wirehair pointer, about 14 months old,” the South Dakota governor writes in a new book, adding that the dog, a female, had an “aggressive personality” and needed to be trained to be used for hunting pheasant.

I’ll jump forward to the end of the story. 

Kristi Noem took the dog to a gravel pit and blew it away with a shotgun. Next, she took a goat she was sick of, and tried to kill it with another blast. She missed, returned to the truck, got another shell, and finished the job.

She recounts that a road crew witnessed the cruelty, but looked away when Noem stared back. All of this happened moments before the school bus dropped off her daughter, who asked where the dog was. 

Noem goes on to mention that she may not be a pretty good politician, given her inclusion of a story that is abjectly cruel, gruesome and depraved in a book that is ostensibly about elevating her brand.  

Good point. Why did she do it then? It is curious, n’est-ce pas? 

Seriously, why would Kristi Noem include that story in a book that exists for the singular purpose of elevating her profile for Trump’s VP consideration? 

The psychology is simultaneously fascinating, terrifying and perfectly reflective of the MAGA movement. 

The answer is: CRUELTY. 

Governor Kristi Noem is auditioning for a spot on the national ticket, by trying to tickle Trump’s erogenous zone for meanness, depravity and brutality. 

Her story is sick. 

First, Kristi Noem admits to torturing the 14-month-old dog with repeated use of a shock collar, and implies that she didn’t realize that hunting dogs require actual training. When she killed the dog she used a shotgun, which would have profoundly disfigured the dog. She admits that she killed the animal out of anger with utter disregard for its life. 

Second, Noem admits to firing a “shell” at the host at point blank range, wounding and torturing the animal, while she went off to search for the lethal shell. The incompetence is spectacular. Truly. Noem tries marketing herself as a cowboy, but she’s really a sociopath. There’s a big difference between the two. 

The dog that she killed had a full life ahead of it. She just needed to care enough to find it a new home, but she couldn’t be bothered. That’s bad enough, but the decision to campaign on the matter is truly sick. 

Trump is the first president who has never had pets. It says something about him and it’s not a good thing. 

I’ve written about Kristi Noem before:

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I’d like to apologize because the truth of the matter is that she is much much worse than I thought. 

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