Did you hear...?

My mind was wandering in the Burbank Airport. I was sitting next to a dog. I like that. I have no idea which dogs get to fly, and which ones don’t, but I’m for more. They never cause any trouble like this guy or this woman. I’d like to see more of this sort of thing:

I remember the day when I was recovering from back surgery, and I received a laser- etched paperweight from a second airline congratulating me for being a million miler. I didn’t think of it as an achievement, but an infinite amount of miles means my dog pack could role in style like this dog traveling in first class. My dogs like to sleep. I’m going to do it, but I don’t have any interest in going to Saudi Arabia.

I was brought back to the present by a cool breeze blowing through the terminal. I love the Burbank Airport. It’s a relic, built in 1930. It’s easy peasy. Old school. It’s named for Bob Hope, who was great. Thinking about Bob Hope makes me smile.  It’s too bad my kids won’t have any memories of Bob Hope or George Burns. I liked George Burns, too. I remember when he played God in “Oh, God!” starring John Denver. He was great, too. The first time I ever saw him play was at the Garden State Arts Center in the early 1980s. My parents took me. Sometimes I think I cheated my kids by not raising them in New Jersey. It’s a place that instills a philosophy of life that provides some unique perspectives. The food is fantastic. Who doesn’t love a cheese steak or a slice down the shore? Chris Christie likes the shore. He went there when it was closed. His entitlement is almost Trumpian. Would I be pissed if I was stuck on the GW Bridge because Chris Christie and his jamokes trapped me on it for hours because of their bullshit? He also got rolled by Jared Kushner. I don’t want a bridge-shuttin’, Stepford wife, ice cream cone jouster president. But if not Christie, then who?

The dog wanted me to pet him again. I did. Nice dog. I didn’t notice the TV on behind me. It’s Jenna and Hoda. I like Jenna and Hoda. My blood pressure dropped a little. They were both saying something normal about Prince Harry. He’s going to the coronation, but leaving the family behind. The story about the holy oils being consecrated in Jerusalem for Charles and Camilla was weird, but then I read about Camilla’s ivory stick from the Royal collection of dead elephants’ ivory. Wow — they have a lot of ivory. Prince William likes elephants when he’s not fighting with his brother and trying to dodge his uncle on Easter walkabout. Maybe Trump will make Jared and Ivanka a prince and princess. Then they can have ivory sticks too. I wouldn’t want an ivory stick. Jared definitely doesn’t with the $2 billion that he got from Saudi Arabia.

I lost my Royal train of thought because some people in ‘The Price is Right’ t-shirts walked by. I like ‘The Price is Right,’ and I like that many of the contestants fly through Burbank with their gear on. Each one of them is ready for the “Showcase Showdown.” It made me think about Jared because ‘The Price is Right’ is one place you’ll never hear about Jared or Ivanka. I’m trying to imagine them as contestants. But anyway, “The Price is Right” is like cable news . You’ll never hear about the greatest act of corruption in American history on either one.

Why is CNN on in every airport except Burbank? I feel like a prisoner. Does that count for their ratings?  Why can’t they put nature shows on instead? Why didn’t Trump have a dog? I never liked that. Lindsey Graham is a human pet. He’s a Lindsey fish. I once described him to Rolling Stone this way:

People try to analyze Lindsey through the prism of the manifest inconsistencies that exist between things that he used to believe and what he’s doing now. The way to understand him is to look at what’s consistent. And essentially what he is in American politics is what, in the aquatic world, would be a pilot fish: a smaller fish that hovers about a larger predator, like a shark, living off of its detritus. That’s Lindsey. And when he swam around the McCain shark, broadly viewed as a virtuous and good shark, Lindsey took on the patina of virtue. But wherever the apex shark is, you find the Lindsey fish hovering about, and Trump’s the newest shark in the sea. Lindsey has a real draw to power — but he’s found it unattainable on his own merits.

Lindsey likes the Saudis now. He did another flip. Whereas he once felt “completely betrayed” by the Saudis over their handling of the death of Jamal Khashoggi, now he wants to “take the U.S.-Saudi relationship to the next level.”

How come no one covers the massive Saudi influence campaigns in America? How come no one reports on their agents and lobbyists? Bad news. Lindsey says crazy stuff. Remember when he tweeted in 2016 that “if we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed.......and we will deserve it?”

Does Lindsey really fly around the world and get treated seriously? He’s a gadfly and an attention-starved sidekick. People know he’s an inch deep on the issues. Right?  I bet he has an untrustworthy pet like a ferret. What a goof ball. I wonder how you say goof ball in Chinese.

I’m not in the mood for politics today. I think I’m going to take a nap.