Fatherhood is more than a platitude

President Joe Biden and his son Hunter (AP)

There is no doubt something utterly final and declarative about what is chiseled on a tombstone, particularly if there is a quotation and especially if it is original. Presidents share the experience of speaking and writing millions of words so it is always interesting to see what it is that they ultimately choose to be final, declarative and enduring. I don’t know if I believe the words below are true. They are an expression of belief, faith, optimism and conviction, but not fact. Certainly the man who spoke them believed them true. Yet, his life’s experience was not representative of every life experienced.

I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph, and there is purpose and worth to each and every life.

The cynic could look at these words and dismiss them out of hand, but so too could the realist and pragmatist. Surely the mass gunman and pedophile serve no purpose and contain nothing of worth. The triumph of the right is not like gravity. It is neither permanent nor organic. At best, the case for man being good stands on a fine line at a razor’s edge when judged against the whole of history.

Regardless of whether the words stand as fact, dogma or hope is besides the point. They are inherently true if they become lived values. The achievement of outcomes is no more a test of character than their pursuit. Action as expressed in acts and as a philosophy of conduct built around this principle allows space for forgiveness, empathy and grace to flourish.

This matters in a moment when Donald Trump is poisoning the American people with a relentless sludge of lies, division and demagoguery. His platform is revenge. His agenda is retribution. It is terrifying.

We have arrived at a poisonous and seething hour during which American politics has become a vast sewer where idiocy, imbecility and malice never, ever rest. It is a like a dilapidated house teeming with vermin and misery. There is no grace, no forgiveness and no better angels in our squalid moment where consideration of the public good is a laugh line and grifting is a billion-dollar power industry. Our politics is mean, nasty, and vicious. Staggering percentages of leaders across politics, media and business are inept, corrupt and dishonest, while vast percentages of the country are ignorant, angry, easily manipulated and deeply indifferent. It is a terrible combination, and it has produced a national disaster.

There is a simple question that I’d like to pose to Hunter Biden’s many tormentors, who seem to share a connection between their animus and their politics: does Hunter Biden’s life have purpose and worth?

Who gets to make that judgement? The RNC? Donald Trump? Tucker Carlson? Some screaming MAGA mob demanding bloodlust and death for their opponents? Maybe there could be a national tribunal broadcast on Newsmax?

What should be done with the addict in recovery? What should society’s message to them be?  

Should it be constant shaming and abuse? Should it be constant public humiliation or harassment? Non-stop bad wishes? Or is that just what happens when the addict has a politician parent? Is it open season then?

Hunter Biden is 52 years old. Will his total destruction sate his father’s enemies?  Do they wish to see him photographed at rock bottom again? Do they wish to impose pain on his children as well? Does his humiliation and suffering bring joy to his critics? What do they want? What punishment will suffice?

There are millions of Americans who need a second chance, and millions more who will need one some day. Should they all be written off and cast aside?

Hunter Biden is not running for political office, and holds no position of public influence, trust or responsibility. He is a political target because his suffering and the pain it has inflicted upon so many people can be turned into a political liability in a business where cruelty is currency. It is appalling, deeply wrong and dangerous for democracy. What normal person would ever expose their family to such scrutiny, brutality, abuse and intimidation for the purposes of running for office, or speaking up against injustice? What person would risk their children’s mental health to run for office? Some will, of course. Are we really sure those are the people we want in the starting gates?

Shouldn’t the impulse of a decent society be to wish the president’s surviving son peace in his pursuit of happiness? Shouldn’t the instinct of a moral opposition be to give space to the president’s children who, despite a thousand conspiracy theories, are not central to his political career? Shouldn’t a decent opposition understand that addiction knows no partisan agenda and suffering is a human condition, not a political one?

When Matthew Perry sat down with Diane Sawyer, he laid himself bare. He attempted to help other people who found themselves where he did, which is at the bottom of a pit of despair that is unfathomable for most people to contemplate. What person watching would not admire his grit, determination, and dedication to survival? Who would wish him ill at an hour during which redemption and recovery have merged and he seems happy?

Hunter Biden didn’t hurt America. He hurt his family and wrecked his life with drugs. He doesn’t owe an explanation to America about his sins. He owes them to his family. He has pled guilty to criminal conduct, and will be forced to pay the price through his sentence. The constant cries that Hunter Biden was advantaged because of his last name in this matter don’t ring true to me. The sentence seems disproportionate and draconian. It looks to me like he paid a severe price for his last name. Brittle prosecutors who avoid criticism shouldn’t confuse that with justice.

Whatever view one may have about the matter, the reality is that it is concluded. Wouldn’t it be better if Hunter Biden is on a trajectory where he will one day celebrate 25 years of sobriety? Who doesn’t want that? Since when did politics require the abandonment of basic humanity?

Yet, there is something that must be said in regard to Hunter Biden and his many messes that are hopefully fully cleaned up. Navy Joan Roberts isn’t one of them. She is his four-year-old daughter with Lunden Roberts. Navy Joan is Joe Biden’s seventh grandchild, and there is worth and purpose to her life too.

Here is what Joe Biden said on Father’s Day last month:

Fathers are critical to raising the next generation and to teaching their daughters and sons about the values that matter most.  They demonstrate responsible fatherhood and foster healthy perspectives on masculinity.  Along the way, dads help their children navigate life’s most difficult challenges, nurture their confidence and character, and give them the tools to develop a moral compass.

My dad, Joseph Robinette Biden Sr., taught me values early in life that continue to inspire me today.  I can still hear his voice at the dinner table explaining that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.  I remember him saying that the measure of a person is not how many times or how hard we get knocked down but how fast we get back up.  And he taught me that, above all, family is the beginning, middle, and end — a lesson I have passed down to my children and grandchildren

As we honor the fathers and father figures in our lives, we also know this day falls hard on children without their fathers and fathers without their children.  It is hard seeing that empty chair at the kitchen table; experiencing birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays without them; and remembering everyday things — the small things, the details that matter the most.  We keep in our prayers all those who mark today with a hole in their heart, missing a father figure they love — whether by accident, illness, or another cruel twist of fate.  And as we pray, we remember that no matter where they are, our dads’ love for us and our love for them is a gift that never goes away.  It will always be with us.

Today, as we express our gratitude for the men who have enriched our lives, let us remember that family is life’s greatest blessing and responsibility; that we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to make the most of our precious time together; and that our Nation would not be where it is today without our beloved fathers and father figures.

We live in an era of tremendous hypocrisy in which integrity has become meaningless as a political currency with the rarest of exceptions. The one thing that every American has long believed about Joe Biden was the conviction with which he said the words in that proclamation. His endurance through catastrophe and his ability to find continued purpose in life has inspired millions of people. Of all people, he cannot be the man who denies a grandchild. He isn’t just plain old Joe — though he will always be that. He is the president of the United States, and he has seven, not six, grandchildren. 

President Biden relaxes in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, on July 8, 2023. Photo (TMZ)

There are many responsibilities that come with being a man. They aren’t talked about enough. None are more important than fatherhood. It is a lifelong obligation, responsibility and joy. Whatever it is that Hunter Biden has done in the past is in the past. His daughter is not, and it is not okay. 

Joe Biden doesn’t get to pretend a little girl doesn’t exist for a lot of reasons. Nobody should be okay with this. Families are complicated, and the MAGA in-laws from Arkansas will no doubt add some color to the picture, but none of that matters. All that does is a little girl.

Hunter Biden hasn’t asked for any advice from me so this is worth what he paid for it. Keep the paintings. Measure up. It’s never too late to start.